After parading around like I'd already won my fantasy football match after Thursday Night Football, I was karmically punished with the following performances:
Ahmad Bradshaw: 5 carries for 16 yards (Injured)
Antonio Gates: 0 catches for 0 yards (Injured)
Larry Fitzgerald: 1 reception for 4 yards (Turd Quarterback)
Bradshaw probably didn't injure his neck in an effort to derail my season. Probably. But I'm watching him. I'll start my season 0-2, reinforcing my theory that I'm terrible at fantasy football.
Additionally, my confidence in the ease with which I could assemble a game for our upcoming franchisee reunion may have been misplaced. In our western-themed Reunion, I've been tasked with assembling armadillo RC cars.
|Armadillo Racing: A Gentleman's Sport|
With an eye on budget, I picked up a few inexpensive (cheap) RC cars. Unfortunately, when you buy inexpensive (cheap), you get cars which interfere with each others' signal despite being on a different frequencies. So a weekend trip to Toys-R-Us later, I'll be back on assembly this week with a new pair of cars. It'll get done, but you'd think this sort of task would be easy.
(Side note: Toys-R-Us is a different world on the weekend. When I went in the middle of the week to buy the first cars, it was quiet, peaceful and everyone I encountered was friendly. When I went to buy the second set this Saturday, it was like I stepped into Lord of the Flies.)
I'm sure some amount of hubris also went into Dr Pepper's Facebook post last Thursday. For those who managed to miss the fuss...
|I was born a Pepper, I didn't evolve into one from monkeys.|
A vast majority of those 6,476 comments are ongoing arguments of evolution vs. creationism, demands for Dr Pepper to apologize and, my fav of the bunch, a guy declaring, "I ain't no freaking chimp. No more Dr Pepper in my household."
How did this piece make it through? Dr Pepper has to have enough eyes on their social media to catch it. I'm betting someone along the way said "Aw hell, let's post it, ain't no one gonna say anything." (Make sure you say that in a flippant manner, preferably with a southern accent.) Oops.
It's not a matter of agreeing or disagreeing with evolution, but you have to know it's going to cause PR trouble if you use it in your advertising. And don't try to draw parallels to Oreo's Gay Rights Post earlier this year. Oreo was supporting a cause; Dr Pepper was being lazy with unimaginative hack work to fill their social media quota. Try harder, DP.
For the record: I believe in evolution. I don't believe in making religious statements with what food I consume. And, most importantly, I believe Diet Coke tastes better than Dr Pepper. Sorry, Waco. Sorry, Baylor.